Breathing Through the Journey

So much has happened since my last post. Some good, and some obviously heartbreaking.

Let’s start with the good.

The good is that I successfully went on my trip to Pittsburgh with Brandon… and it was NEEDED.

I’ve been so stuck in my head lately, trying to navigate all these emotions and figure out how to exist in this new version of life. Being able to escape reality for a little while and just be alone with my husband was everything.

On the trip, we explored new places and revisited some of our favorite spots. We went to a baseball game, checked out a cool bar, played Puttshack, and went to a concert.

But more importantly… I remembered myself.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like a piece of me was still there underneath all the grief, trauma, fear, and exhaustion.

I was able to walk again. And by walk, I mean WALK — 20-30 minutes without feeling out of breath.

We wandered around the city and did activities without me constantly worrying about my restrictions. I didn’t complain about them once. Honestly, for a little while, it felt like they didn’t even exist.

Of course we thought about Wyatt a lot. We always do. But this trip gave Brandon and I the chance to reconnect with each other too, and we desperately needed that.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day weekend was extremely tough.

I went to a concert that Saturday, and every band kept talking about Mother’s Day. Each mention was another reminder that I wasn’t going to have Wyatt here with me. Another reminder of everything we went through.

So yeah… I cried. A lot.

I let myself be vulnerable. I let myself feel everything. And yes, I definitely had a few drinks for emotional support lol.

Thankfully, I was surrounded by the right people. My cousin was there, a friend, and my best friend’s sister was working the event. Somehow, the right people showed up at the right time, exactly when I needed them.

When I got home, Brandon surprised me with the most meaningful Mother’s Day gift.

He framed Wyatt’s handprint and footprint and included a special note on the back. It absolutely wrecked me in the best way. It was thoughtful, personal, and full of love. I was also incredibly impressed that he somehow taught himself how to use my Cricut to make it happen.

On Mother’s Day itself, we visited family. I intentionally didn’t wear makeup because I already knew I was going to cry, and honestly there was no point in pretending otherwise.

I cried on and off throughout the day, but I was surrounded by people who made me feel loved, remembered, and seen — my mom, my mother-in-law, my sisters, and family who held space for me without needing me to explain anything.

And for that, I was incredibly grateful.

The Following Weekend

The next weekend, Brandon left for his brother’s bachelor trip. I knew there was a chance I’d spiral emotionally, so I kept myself busy and made plans ahead of time.

Surprisingly, I was okay.

Not perfectly okay — but calmer than I expected.

I think once I finally allowed myself to fully process Mother’s Day, this strange sense of relief and peace settled over me. Like my body finally stopped fighting the emotions and just let them exist.

That same weekend, my sister welcomed my nephew into the world.

And wow… he is special.

Of course I cried a little. There are always going to be complicated emotions attached to moments like this now. But more than anything, I am genuinely so happy for her.

The BEST News

Now for the part I still can’t believe I’m typing…

I AM GETTING OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING PUMP. WOOHOO.

Seriously. I cannot wait.

I recently had my third Winrevair shot and a follow-up appointment with my doctor. During the appointment, he was blown away by both my test results and how much better I’ve been feeling physically.

And honestly? Yesterday felt HUGE.

My 6-minute pulmonary stress test improved from 512 meters (February 2026) to 692 meters (May 2026) — which my team said is an incredibly impressive number for someone with IPAH.

My doctor even told me he can count on one hand how many patients of his have ever reached numbers like that.

The improvement wasn’t just the walking distance either. My oxygen levels, recovery time, and exertion levels all improved significantly too.

After everything my body has been through this past year, seeing actual measurable progress feels surreal.

The next step is another echo in August. Then, if everything continues going well, I’ll be admitted to the hospital in September for 1-2 days for another RHC and the transition OFF the Remodulin pump.

Pump freedom.

That honestly feels like the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

Woohoo!!